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©2003-2007
CreatureScape
ISSN: 1546-6140
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The Horror Host Hotel Proudly
Presents: |
Meet
Cleaver Theater
Better Living Through
Reckless Experimentation!
Butch's life was desperately dull.
Forced to conform to the button-down
"Johnny punch-clock" lifestyle, playing tedious games of bridge with the
neighbors and endless rounds of golf with business clients ... all the
while hiding his dark secrets from the world. His love of B-movies,
monsters, and other interests of a more prurient persuasion ... all of
these would give the neighborhood council more than enough reason to run
him out on a rail.
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One of Butch's few escapes became his kit
radio and the few like-minded friends he could find on the dial. One
day he heard a voice through a thick channel of static repeating what he
claimed were instructions for receiving interstellar frequencies. Butch
followed the plans to the letter and with the flick of a switch
accidentally opened a huge rip in the space time continuum.... sucking
both he and his home through a spiraling time warp!
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A stranger in a strange
land, Butch soon learned that in these modern times he can
indulge himself in all manner of perverse interests with little
more than a raised eyebrow.
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From the dark corners of
suburban Cincinnati, Ohio, comes a show so shocking, so horrifying, so
freaking cool that you must see, hear and experience the thrill of Meet
Cleaver Theater. And the good thing is, you can . . . on
public access across the USA, the world wide web AND on DVD. I
invite you to investigate all your Meet Cleaving options, but first . . .
a little background generally seasoned with video.
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As you watch Meet Cleaver
Theater, you witness the Cleaver Family in their valiant efforts to attain
"Better Living Through Reckless Experimentation."
It takes recklessness
to bring you breakthroughs in cinema like Dinosaur Fighting Team
Koseidon or Avenging Disco Vampires.
It takes experimentation to
revive the great classics of the past like Robot Monster, The
Giant Gila Monster, or The House on Haunted Hill.
It takes an unflagging
devotion to better living to bring you fool-proof shrew protection from
Angry Atom Industries. Plus, you can get a great little mock-tail
from the Atomic Cafe.
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But what do we really know
about this post-nuclear family from the 1950s who invite us into their
living rooms as they limbo into ours?
Well, the Cleavers know a
good time when they see one . . . and it usually involves mixing
chemicals, electronics and a B-movie. So first, let's get to
know the debonair host, Butch R. Cleaver.
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Butch R. Cleaver
Cosmopolitan and erudite, Butch R. Cleaver
prefers distinctive cinema--with the emphasis on the stink. Well,
it's all a matter of one's attitude, don't you think?
Perpetually bemused and always willing to pull out another wet-nap for the
virtual backyard barbeque, our host carries the show with charmingly
displaced 1950s style. Like the impossible lovechild of Rod Serling
and Eddie Haskell, Butch dispenses advice and insight with his eyeball
martinis in hand. And, naturally you're welcome to wear your 3-D
glasses all night long and
join the legions of in the Angry Atom fan club.
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Do you dare watch Butch
introduce Massacre in Dinosaur Valley? You can on CS#5! |
Joan Cleaver
Intriguing, heady, and . . . decapitated.
Well, two out of three ain't bad. Actually, hostess Joan has a
double life and has her moments of holistic health, but tending the
passions of a displaced daddy-o bent on B-movies can make a girl lose her
head now and again.
And then there are all party jokes to
contend with. Still she tries to be the hostess with the mostess.
Quoth the mistress,
"I'd bring out some juice and lemon squares, but I don't seem to have any
arms."
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The cast of extended characters also helps
make Meet Cleaver Theater one of the best horror host shows in the
country. Uncle Emergo is a skeletal social critic whose insights
won't be published in Reader's Digest any time soon. Then, there is
the patron saint of the public domain, Saint Corman. Hear why the
saints cry when teens fumble through heavy petting in the back seat of a
Buick. The paranoid neighbor . . . well, that just speaks for
itself, doesn't it. And if that is not enough, you can buy useful
stuff from Angry Atom Industries to keep you safe from shrews or mix up a
mocktail in the Atomic Cafe. |
Uncle Emergo
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Saint Corman |
The Paranoid Neighbor |
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©2003-2007
CreatureScape
ISSN: 1546-6140 |
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