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©2003-2007
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1546-6140


 

The Horror Host Hotel Proudly Presents:

Meet Cleaver Theater

Better Living Through Reckless Experimentation!

Butch's life was desperately dull. 

Forced to conform to the button-down "Johnny punch-clock" lifestyle, playing tedious games of bridge with the neighbors and endless rounds of golf with business clients ... all the while hiding his dark secrets from the world.  His love of B-movies, monsters, and other interests of a more prurient persuasion ... all of these would give the neighborhood council more than enough reason to run him out on a rail.

One of Butch's few escapes became his kit radio and the few like-minded friends he could find on the dial.  One day he heard a voice through a thick channel of static repeating what he claimed were instructions for receiving interstellar frequencies. Butch followed the plans to the letter and with the flick of a switch accidentally opened a huge rip in the space time continuum.... sucking both he and his home through a spiraling time warp!

 A stranger in a strange land, Butch soon learned that in these modern times he can indulge himself in all manner of perverse interests with little more than a raised eyebrow.

From the dark corners of suburban Cincinnati, Ohio, comes a show so shocking, so horrifying, so freaking cool that you must see, hear and experience the thrill of Meet Cleaver Theater.    And the good thing is, you can . . . on public access across the USA, the world wide web AND on DVD.  I invite you to investigate all your Meet Cleaving options, but first . . . a little background generally seasoned with video.

As you watch Meet Cleaver Theater, you witness the Cleaver Family in their valiant efforts to attain "Better Living Through Reckless Experimentation." 

It takes recklessness to bring you breakthroughs in cinema like Dinosaur Fighting Team Koseidon or Avenging Disco Vampires

It takes experimentation to revive the great classics of the past like Robot Monster, The Giant Gila Monster, or The House on Haunted Hill

It takes an unflagging devotion to better living to bring you fool-proof shrew protection from Angry Atom Industries.  Plus, you can get a great little mock-tail from the Atomic Cafe.

But what do we really know about this post-nuclear family from the 1950s who invite us into their living rooms as they limbo into ours? 

Well, the Cleavers know a good time when they see one . . . and it usually involves mixing chemicals, electronics and a B-movie.   So first, let's get to know the debonair host, Butch R. Cleaver.

Butch R. Cleaver

Cosmopolitan and erudite, Butch R. Cleaver prefers distinctive cinema--with the emphasis on the stink.  Well, it's all a matter of one's attitude, don't you think?   Perpetually bemused and always willing to pull out another wet-nap for the virtual backyard barbeque, our host carries the show with charmingly displaced 1950s style.  Like the impossible lovechild of Rod Serling and Eddie Haskell, Butch dispenses advice and insight with his eyeball martinis in hand.  And, naturally you're welcome to wear your 3-D glasses all night long and join the legions of in the Angry Atom fan club.

 

 

 

 

 

Do you dare watch Butch introduce Massacre in Dinosaur Valley?  You can on CS#5!

Joan Cleaver

Intriguing, heady, and . . . decapitated.  Well, two out of three ain't bad.  Actually, hostess Joan has a double life and has her moments of holistic health, but tending the passions of a displaced daddy-o bent on B-movies can make a girl lose her head now and again. 

And then there are all party jokes to contend with.  Still she tries to be the hostess with the mostess.  Quoth the  mistress,  "I'd bring out some juice and lemon squares, but I don't seem to have any arms."

The cast of extended characters also helps make Meet Cleaver Theater one of the best horror host shows in the country.  Uncle Emergo is a skeletal social critic whose insights won't be published in Reader's Digest any time soon.  Then, there is the patron saint of the public domain, Saint Corman.  Hear why the saints cry when teens fumble through heavy petting in the back seat of a Buick.  The paranoid neighbor . . . well, that just speaks for itself, doesn't it.  And if that is not enough, you can buy useful stuff from Angry Atom Industries to keep you safe from shrews or mix up a mocktail in the Atomic Cafe.

Uncle Emergo

Saint Corman

The Paranoid Neighbor

   

©2003-2007  CreatureScape  ISSN: 1546-6140